Give me the Word

For the past several years, I have been reading through the Bible using different translations. I am just a few pages away from finishing reading through this year in the Holman translation. I have selected ESV to read through for next year and I will use a guide to read chronologically this time.

Some people think this is not a good discipline because it is easy to just quit and not finish. I am the type of person who would normally quit. I start and quit a lot of good habits because I don't like habits. But for some reason, I've been able to keep up with this goal. I hope that I will read through the Bible every year for the rest of my life.

The Word makes more sense to me each year. I admit that some days what I read is sort of a blur. Some mornings I have to reread something because I caught my eyes just skimming the lines. But the more familiar I am with the Old Testament, the more the New Testament makes sense. The bigger my view is of God, His holiness, love, justice, patience and many attributes. I am humbled that He would save a sinner like me. Now I just want to know more of what He says.

I am still weak in my prayer life. I try to concentrate in prayer and some times I can for a bit. But I guess if there is one discipline I think may be more important, it is to listen to God more than to talk to Him. But I know, both are very important so I want to grow in the discipline of prayer. I don't feel like I do much right in my life. I wish I had more energy and drive and ability to work harder. I wish I could concentrate better and not stammer when I try to express myself. I wish I had skills that could really make a difference. I wish I could read other great books--I have many on my shelf that I'd love to start but most likely will never finish. I wish I was a better wife and mother. I have so much to learn. I trust that as God's Word penetrates my life, I will change and become more like Him. I am so hungry to know Him.

I have been thinking for a long time that I'd really like to take a year to study online and get a Bible Certificate but I fear that I will fail in the discipline of it and therefore I would waste the money. It will be difficult to balance my time and keep up with my work. I would like to finish my college education some day but realize it isn't likely to happen. But I can read and I now have a 5 1/2 year discipline of reading God's Word almost every morning. And I can read for free because we have several copies of the Bible in our house. In fact, someone is going to give me a new ESV Study Bible. I am so excited to receive it. Even though I most likely will not make it to college, it will provide a lot of resources to enhance my reading and studying.

Thank you Lord for your Word. In it I learn of the hope I have in You.